Harry Potter's and the Harry Potter's Outrageous Adventure
by chinesemtgcardicantread
Summary: Harry and friends have an adventure to Pizza of the Hut. It has nothing to do with Star Wars but i might make it happen. I dunno. I'm going to put this M because I haven't read it since coming back from my vacation to Hawaii.
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Harry Potter's Outrageous Adventure

It was a dark and sunny night at Hogwarts. Harry Potter and his friend Ron were lazing about in the Gryffindor House while Hermione was doing Hermione things like writing things on paper and being a nag. All was silent and sweaty due to the heat and the sexy times going on in the rooms that I shan't talk about until Harry Potter spoke up.

"Oh bother, wot ar we goin to do un such a dull day."

Hermione said back "Well wut do you suppose we do 'Arry."

"YEAH, THERE IS NOT MUCH INTERESTING GOING ON HERE" Ron added in with his high pitch voice which decreased the frequency of thumping and humping going on upstairs.

"Dammit, Ron, I cannot stand all these Voldefucking moans on this Mothermorting Dormitory."

"I am a bit famished, how do you suppose we do acquire food do you think?"

"Excellent idea Hernaggy-"

"Hermione"

"I propose we retrieve pizza from the Pizza Wizard Hut."

"BUT THE PIZZA IS SO GREASY 'ARRY"

"Shut up Ron." Harry said annoyed.

And so, they began their trek to Hogsmeade where all the wizard shops and wizard boutiques were. But in the middle of their quest they were halted by Snape who after a crazy potions incident, became the Snapinator, A technologically advanced and magical fusion of Snape and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Misterrrrr Pottteerrrr, where are you and your friends going on ZIS FINE EVENINGGGG" Snape said.

"We're going to Pizza Hut, Professor"

"Are you suuureeee you are not intending to participate in tomfoolery OV ANY SOART."

"Let me handle this Harry", said Hermione, "Transportius Make Snape Go Awayicus."

And with that Snape's inner mechanical workings begin to tumble and toil and his arms blasted off in an epic explosion. Sparks and flames took the place of his former arms cackling as smoke rose in freedom from the gaping hole in Snape's chest cavity. Snapes formerly cold and stoic gaze transformed to that of one of tranquil fury. His forehead wrinkled and his eyebrows furrowed, Snape let off a mighty roar which shattered the lights and caused epileptic spasms in the armor. Snape then assumed a the position of a tiger crouched in hunting. What was left of his human sanity said this in a raspy but booming voice:

"NOTHING BUT A TRAIL OF BLOOD AND TEARS! YOUR DEATHS, MY HAAANDS"

The formerly gray and black brick and mortars of the castle halls became a violent crimson to match the rising heat and tension for battle was near. Snape was unrecognizable save for his shiny raven black hair which swayed back and forth in a rhythmic fashion. Because he was worth it.

Sensing the killing intent, Harry quickly went into a wizard dueling formation he practiced everyday for Wizard Duels. First, Ron deployed into a combat roll flourishing his wand and stabbing it into the wooden floor and assumed all fours. He let out a wolf's howl and the magical energy emanating from his wand surrounded him in a green and yellow light which was drawn from the Lifestream. Hermione did a backflip and tossed her arm into the air which called the wand from her bag into her mouth. Like a tango dancer, her Emma Watson teeth gently gripped the wand and she landed back first onto Ron's back. Back to back, Hermione whipped her head back into the formation which then worsened Ron's neck problem. Harry jumped forward with wand in hand chanting the encantations "Humina humina ramma lamma weazle wazzle woozle wozzle, WINGARDIUM Leviosa."

Shamanic circles sprang forth, surrounding Harry's Body and a portal appeared from between Hermione and Ron and slowly, the Firebolt with Hedwig at the front emerged.

Now they were battle ready. However, Snape had already fallen asleep from how long the formation sequence took. They shrugged and went on to Pizza Hut.

On the way this exchange occurred,

"CAN WE LEAVE FORMATION NOW, I'M GETTING TIRED" whined Ron.

"No" Harry and Hermione said in unison as they were bringing Sexy Back.


	2. Chapter 2: Revengeance

Harry Potter and the Harry Potter's Truly Turly Truly Outrageous Pizza the Hut Adventure Can't Be This kawaii!?

Harry Potter and his motley crew marched into Hogsmeade after separating into their four selves.

"Holy hullaballoo, 'Arry, there's barely a none of people 'ere."

"You're right Hermagination, there must be something afoot for I am the boy who lived"

"IT'S GETTING SPOOKY 'ARRY, I DON'T LIKE IT HERE"

Annoyed with Ron's constant complaints, Harry plotted his vengeance against Ron but his stomach was getting rather rumbly tumbly so he set the plan aside and sought out the next road. In front of him were the streets of Hogsmeade. The scent of butterbeer and the myriads of bizarre delicacies that witchard folk delighted in perfumed the air around them.

Despite the aromas, the street was devoid of a person and the clouds were gray as the North- Western region of the United States (excluding Idaho). The clouds stirred and aggravated until they formed a sinister sneer of a serpent, The very same serpent that tempted Eve with the apple of knowledge. Harry and friends looked up upon the sky as it shifted to a sinister green. The green of evil: Marijuana green. The skies began to roar with thunder. Hogsmeade's prior warm and comforting atmosphere shifted to that of a valley of the shadow of death.

"I will fear no evil" Harry said. His staff and rod, Hermigger and Ron were there to comfort him. Even though he'd like to break his rod. But not his "other" rod.

Will Pizza Hut never arrive? But in an instant lord Voldemort appeared! He was wearing Gucci sunglasses and carried a coach handbag. He had a matching golden robe covered in red floral decals. Behind him were 108 Deatheaters each carrying a shopping bag with Lucius blushing a deep red. Harry looked at Lucius's hands and there were front hook bras from the Victoria's Secret bag.

"OH, if it isn't Harry Potter!" exclaimed Voldemort. " You fool! TO think that I'd have the pleasure of killing you during my shopping spree!"

Voldemort twitched his nose despite his lack of one.

"Achoo! Excuse me, Harry, it seems my pollen allergy has begun to act up."

"Why don't you shoot your abra kedabra spell up your nose hole or something then?" retorted Harry.

"Oh you clever boy!" Voldemort lifted his wand and casted the killing curse onto Harry but instead of his wand it was his $5000 Hermès handbag. Out of it a tampon shot outward onto Ron Weasley which then began to burn onto his face.

"OH GOD HARRY IT BURNS"(It's Ron's high pitched voice but this time screaming)

"Shut up Ron. You're my best friend."

"What can you do now Harry Berry Potter? Now it's just you and Miss Grangerdanger!"

It was true, now Harry's questing crew was even more severely outnumbered and out fashioned. Ron was arguably the most fashionable of the three of them because of his designer jacket.

"Well, Tom Riddle, you may have taken out our fashionista but you forgot we brought a secret weapon. It was a secret so you wouldn't know! Doctor Doom!"

Harry made a jump backwards and the King of Latveria dived his feet into the Dark Lord. Doom hits with his charged up fists twice and then dives his feet again into Voldemort. But before Voldemort could land, Doctor Doom uses his rocket booster to land on the ground and kick Voldemort into the air again whilst yelling "HARD KICK" before launching Voldemort into the air with Sphere Flame. It was a hyper combo finish.

All of the Deatheaters ran to rescue Lord Voldemort's now airborne body. Hermione continued to nag as though she helped the entire time.

"What is with all these interruptions? I just want to go eat Pizza."

"Why didn't we just call in Harry?"

"What fun would that be?"

"WHAT'S CALLING?"


End file.
